"YOU WERE NEVER A TRUE CHRISTIAN!" - NO TRUE CHRISTIAN FALLACY

 

NO TRUE CHRISTIAN FALLACY

FORM

Person A: "No Christian ever leaves Christianity."
Person B: "But I was a Christian and I left Christianity. "
Person A: "But no true Christian ever leaves Christianity."

This accusation is a classic "no true Scotsman" argument because it attempts to redefine ad-hoc what a Christian is. According to the definition, no person could ever have been a Christian if they leave Christianity at some point in the future.

It would be impossible using this criteria - the abandoning of a religion - to determine who, among current Christians, is actually a "true Christian". How many unwitting imposters attend church every week? How come the true Christians were never able to "sniff these impostors out" while these "fakes" were still attending the same religious rituals as obediently as possible? This is clearly absurd.

Mandatory Bible Verse For Trew Kristyuns: 1 Samuel 16:7 “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (In other words, according to this bible verse, you cannot tell who is, or is not, a true Christian. Only God knows.)

 

WHAT IS A JESUS JINGLE?

Jesus Jingles are banal "Jesus is my boyfriend" chouses interspersed with the "Pente Mantra".

For decades in Christianity I witnessed "worship" as singing Jesus Jingles to the fictitious mythical Christ of Faith (all denominations). The jingles weren't even addressed to God. However, in all but Catholic and Anglican churches, singing Jesus Jingles is the main feature of a Sunday service. There is nothing similar in any part of contemporary secular culture. "Join us at our Worship Service" means "Join with us to sing Jesus Jingles in our crowd". 

I honor, respect and love my wife. I don't sing to her: "Praise the wife! Hallelu-wife! Glory to the wife of this household! You're the best wife in all the universe! Bless the wife, oh my soul! Worship her holy name. Sing like never before, my soul". If I organised a time to sing this weekly to my wife she'd be seeking to get me urgent psychiatric help. Yet this is exactly how Christians treat the fictional mythical Christ of Faith. This is the Pente Mantra.

I parodied this in an original song: "Hallelujah! Please the hordes! Bless the Lord one way! Glory to God I speak in tongues and talk in trite cliches!"

The historical Jesus of Nazareth, a practising Jew, would be horrified if he he returned to earth today and heard this banal nonsense.

GOD versus JESUS - Yeshayahu 9:5 versus Isaiah 9:6

 

An example of a totally different translation and thus a totally different meaning.

Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 9:5* (Jewish Tanach) - For a child has been born to us, a son given to us, and the authority is upon his shoulder, and the wondrous adviser, the mighty God, the everlasting Father, called his name, "the prince of peace."

Isaiah 9:6 KJV - For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

* Note the different verse number, the different tense and the different subjects of the adjectives.

So ...

- Is God called the the wondrous adviser, the mighty God, the everlasting Father?

or

- Is Jesus called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace?

If "a child has been born" (past tense) then that child cannot be the historical Jesus of Nazareth as he was not born at the time that Isaiah was written (circa 740 to 700 BCE).

THE GOZPULL OV STRUTH - The follow up to the Quantum Incoherence Gospel of Tommy

 The Gozpull ov Stooth is a joy for those who’ve sent money to the Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd and thus received Wind from the Farta of Strooth, that they might know him through the power of the Wind that came from his fullness. They call him the “Savor.” That’s the name of the work he’ll do to rope in those who had become ignorant of the Farta. And the term “the Gozpull” is the marketing ploy of Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd.

When the upside is downside, and the downside is upside, the upside down Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd shall be manifested.

When the inside comes outside, in a mighty gust of Wind, from both ends, at the same time, then the Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd shall be manifested.

When a well hasn’t been covered, you can fall into it. So too you can fall into the endless pablum of Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd books. They had paid reviews written by Je$u$. Because of this:

Je$u$ was happy,
Je$u$ was clappy,
Je$u$ was happy clappy,
and Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd published lots of books that were #1 in the subject area of Wotifness.

Oh, what a deal we’ve got for you! Buy a book, pay-walled article, or t-shirt and get one free!!! Wait, there’s more. Buy within the next 24 hours and get a free Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd Tin Foul Hat!!!!

Emptying himself of Wind,
he made lots of money,
stripped himself of the losers,
and clothed himself in designer suits,
which no one else could afford.

When he entered his chamber, he passed Wind, proclaiming the things that are from the bottom of his heart. Teaching everyone about Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd.

Now those who will receive this teachun are the giving who are written in the Book of the Giving. They receive teachun, and they receive it from the Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd.

 

The Quantum Incoherence Gospel of Tommy - Sayings 111 to 114

 

Saying 111:

Je$u$ said, "When you know the secret to Quantum Incoherence then the xiffy treckloof will zip around the quertiferous bingbong in front of you, and whoever lives to tell the tale will be blessed."

Saying 112:

Je$u$ said, "What the hell am I saying? Doc, give me more of those pills!”


Saying 113:

His dissiples said to him, "When will the police come?"

"They won't come unless some disloyal Quantum Incoherent Follower snitches on me. But the Quantum Incoherence protection Team ensures that never happens. Let those who want to keep their toes, listen."

Saying 114:

Simone Peta said to them, "Mary should leave us, because she’s a bitch."

Je$u$ said, "Look, I don’t care about bitches if they are loyal Trew Quantum Incoherence Followers who buy my books, my pay-walled articles, my subscriptions to my seminars and my t-shirts. Nothing else matters."

THE END
of
The Quantum Incoherence Gospel of Tommy

The Quantum Incoherence Gospel of Tommy - Sayings 101 to 110

 

Saying 101:

"Whoever doesn't place their ageing father and mother into a nursing home in order to have much more time to sell more of my books, my pay-walled articles, my subscriptions to my seminars and my t-shirts, isn’t a loyal Trew Quantum Incoherence Follower."

Saying 102:

Je$u$ said, "How awful for those who don’t buy my books, my pay-walled articles, my subscriptions to my seminars and my t-shirts. They won’t be blessed by Quantum Incoherence."

Saying 103:

Je$u$ said, "Blessed are those who know Quantum Incoherence. They can get defend it with quotes from my books, my pay-walled articles and my t-shirts”

Saying 104:

They said to Je$u$, "Come, let's go and get pissed today."

Je$u$ said, "Whose paying?”

They said "We are.”

So Je$u$ and the dissiples went and got pissed.

Saying 105:

Je$u$ said, "Whoever steals money before it’s put in the Quantum Incoherence Bank Account will be called a bastard."

Saying 106:

Je$u$ said, "When you make the two into one, and the three into six, then seven ate nine and ... Wow! Did you see that flying unicorn?"

He was off his face that day.

Saying 107:

Je$u$ said, "Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd can be compared to a shepherd who had a hundred sheep and then got a million more."

Saying 108:

Je$u$ said, "Whoever iuly rewing ou oh dafgeh jey herb ik oun piggy wiggy ....”

He was off his face that day too.

Saying 109:

Je$u$ said, "Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd can be compared to someone who had a treasure hidden in their backyard. No-one knew about it. Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd wants it that way forever."

Saying 110:

Je$u$ said, "Whoever has won the lottery and become rich should donate it to Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd."

The Quantum Incoherence Gospel of Tommy - Sayings 91 to 100

 

Saying 91:

They said to him, "Tell us what this is in your painting."

He said to them, "You read the face of the sky and the earth, but you don't know what a tree and cloud are? It’s a tree and a cloud! I’m going to sign my painting and put it up in the Quantum Incoherence Art Gallery."

Saying 92:

Je$u$ said, "Look, I didn't answer your questions before and I’m not answering them now. I’m not giving away advice for free. Buy my books, my pay-walled articles, my subscriptions to my seminars and my t-shirts to find out the answers."

Saying 93:

"I don't give a shit about your opinion. Throw it on the manure pile. Don't bother with me with stuff that doesn’t advance Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd."

Saying 94:

Je$u$ said, "Whoever knocks on my door with a large donation for Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd will be gladly received and I will open the door to receive the cash. All the rest can knock on my door for hours on end and I won’t answer. Don't bother with me with stuff that doesn’t advance Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd."

Saying 95:

Je$u$ said, "If you have money that you want to invest then invest it at Quantum Incoherence Investment Fund. After 10 years you might get some of it back in the form of a free t-shirt."

Saying 96:

Je$u$ said, "Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd can be compared to a woman who took a powder and snorted it. Anyone who has a nose to blow should blow it!"

Saying 97:

Je$u$ said, "Disloyal Quantum Incoherence Followers can be compared to a bag of dog shit from a dog with diarrhoea. While the man was walking down a long long road, the bag broke and the dog shit spilled out all over the place and over him. The moral of this story is don’t be a little shit!"

Saying 98:

Je$u$ said, "A Disloyal Quantum Incoherence Follower can be compared to a man who farted in a crowded elevator. I don’t want to be near him!"

Saying 99:

The dissiples said to him, "Your sons and daughters are standing outside."

He said to them, "How do you know? I refused to do a paternity test. Call in the Quantum Incoherence Protection Team!"

Saying 100:

They showed Je$u$ a gold coin and said to him, "Those who own it want it back.”

He said to them, "Blessed are those who donate to Quantum Incoherence Pty Ltd whether they want to or not. Place it in this bag of donated cash and stay quiet.”