Sunday

ST PETER'S MAMMA

It's been said that St Peter's mamma was a miser through and through. Never did she give to charity or spend a penny on her fellow man. One day while she was peeling leeks, a poor woman came by begging. "Will you give me a little something, good woman?"

"That's right, everybody comes to me begging ... Well, take this, and don't ask for any more!" And she she gave her one leaf of a leek.

When the Lord called her into the next life, he sent her to Hell.  The head of Heaven was St Peter, and as he sat on the doorstep, he heard a voice. "Peter! Just look at how I am roasting! Son, go to the Lord, talk to him, get me out of this misery!"

St Peter went to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "my mother is in Hell and begging to be let out."

"What! Your mother never did a good turn in her whole life! All she has to her credit is one little leek. Try this. Give her the leek leaf to catch hold to, and pull her up to Paradise by it."

An angel swooped down with the leek leaf. "Grab hold!" ordered the angel, and St Peter's mamma caught hold of the leaf. She was about to be pulled up out of Hell, when all the poor souls there with her and seeing her rise, latched on to her skirts. So the angel drew up not only her but all the others as well. Then that selfish woman screamed, "No! Not you all! Get off! Just me! You ought to have had a saint for a son, as I did!" She kicked and shook them from her, jerking about so much to get free, that the leek leaf broke in two and St Peter's mamma went plummeting to the bottom of Hell.

Friday

Tindall Family Motto

The Tindall family motto is “Nosce te ipsum” which is the Latin translation of the ancient Greek aphorism γνώθι σεαυτόν, meaning “Know thyself”. It was inscribed above the entrance to the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.

Plato employs the maxim 'Know Thyself' extensively by having the character of Socrates use it to motivate his dialogues.Plato makes it clear that Socrates is referring to a long-established wisdom. Benjamin Jowett's index to his translation of the Dialogues of Plato lists six dialogues which discuss or explore the saying of Delphi: 'know thyself.' These dialogues (and the Stephanus numbers indexing the pages where these discussions begin) are Charmides (164D), Protagoras (343B), Phaedrus (229E), Philebus (48C), Laws (II.923A), I Alcibiades (124A, 129A, 132C).

Saturday

PRAY YOUR STRAIGHT AWAY - HETEROSEXUAL CONVERSION THERAPY

We need homophobic Christian volunteers to undergo "heterosexual conversion therapy" in order to make them homosexual. This would provide definitive scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed.

We know from science that "gay conversion therapy"  does not work and that you cannot "pray the gay away" yet it may be possible to change heterosexual homophobic Christians to homosexuality as that has not yet been attempted.

"Heterosexual Conversion Therapy" would have steps such as:

(1) Participate in art museums, opera, symphonies, etc.

(2) Avoid activities considered of interest to heterosexuals, such as sports activities.

(3) Avoid men unless it is for romantic contact.

(4) Increase time spent with homosexual men in order to learn to mimic homosexual male ways of walking, talking, and interacting with other homosexual men.

(5) Avoid church and join a gay community group

(6) Attend heterosexual reparative therapy group to discuss progress, or slips back into heterosexuality.

(7) Become more assertive with men through flirting and dating,

(8) Begin homosexual dating,

(9) Engage in homosexual intercourse.

(10) Enter into heterosexual marriage (when it becomes legal in your country).

RESPECTFUL DIALOGUE: Atheists / Theists / Agnostics / Etc - Facebook Group



I have created a new group for those interested. Join the group, add members and participate in the dialogue. https://www.facebook.com/groups/respectful.dialogue/

RESPECTFUL DIALOGUE is a safe haven for respectful dialogue between atheists, theists, agnostics etc.

RULES:
1. No personal insult of members or individuals.
2. No insult of deities / prophets / spokespeople
3. No flooding threads with off topic posts.
4. No posting threads irrelevant to the aim of the group.

Not adhering to the rules will result in a permanent ban.

Wednesday

"LIFE ...and how to survive it" - Robin Skinner & John Cleese


From Robin Skinner & John Cleese "LIFE ...and how to survive it" - (Methuen; London:1993)

John: ... In fact you could claim that most values in the West are derived from Christianity, and you don't find anything more inclusive than the words of Jesus Christ. ...

Robin: ... people interpret each myth according to their level of mental health....

John: So let me get this right: a less healthy person will take a healthy idea and turn it into something less healthy?

Robin: Absolutely! And vice versa too. ... Each person will bring their own family attitudes and feelings to their interpretation of myths about loyalty. So if hey come from a very unhealthy family, they'll feel that the group should all hold practically identical views, and that anyone who questions these views is a 'trouble-maker' who is being 'disloyal'; they'll feel hostility towards outside groups, and a disregard for the rights of such 'outsiders'; and they'll feel intense and demanding dependence on all the other members of the group. ...loyalty to unhealthy people is simply paranoia dressed up and re-labelled. p. 253 -255

John: So the healthy behaviour is to look at the thinking behind regulations; the less healthy behaviour is to take a literal and inflexible interpretation of the letter of the law. It sounds to me a general principle of mental health. p. 261

John: Well, I'll attempt a rough summing-up so far. We've been looking at the idea that each person interprets the world according to his or her level of mental health. And it seems to me that the unhealthier we are, the more literal minded we are in the interpretations of the letter of the law, as it were; and the healthier we are, the more influenced we are by the broader idea that lies behind the formulation of the myth that we are interpreting. p. 266

John: ... we poor teenagers were hearing sermons every Sunday so breathtakingly half-witted that the only valid response was reading, sleeping, or invading the pulpit.... Any God, I felt, who would seriously approve of what was going on in that church would be out of his infinite mind. p. 268

John: So a religious idea will be interpreted by a person in a way that fits in best with their existing psychology?

Robin: Yes, and it can therefore support them in functioning at the best level they're capable of, given their limitations. ... Well, take people functioning at the least healthy level first. They'll understand religion as a collection of rules, of rewards and punishments, of threats and promises, all enforced by a powerful and frightening God.

John: The extreme black-and-white thinking found in young children?

Robin: That's exactly what it is. The thinking of such people has got stuck at that level, and though it's normal in a very young child, it's obviously unhealthy in an adult. ...

John: And how is God experienced?

Robin: He's seen as a terrifying, domineering, bad-tempered dictator, who wants everyone to spend heir time admiring him and telling him how marvellous he is. ... So naturally people holding this view feel they have to do lots of things to keep Him sweet, so that He won't get into a bad mood and blast them with thunderbolts, or boils, or rivers of blood.

John: A little bit like the church congregation in "The Meaning of Life", who, when invited to praise God, all chant 'Ooooh, you are so big', and 'You're so tough and strong, you could beat anyone up, even the Devil', and 'We're really impressed don here' before singing Hymn 42 'Oh Lord, please don't burn us'. I can remember as a nione-year-old, thinking that God couldn't be so stupid that he wouldn't se through such blatant buttering up. p. 270 - 271

John: So the way I can explain our position now is to say this: there are different ways of following Christ - which correspond to different levels of mental health - and therefore it's quite legitimate to make fun of the less healthy ways, not least because they actually conflict with His teaching! The Inquisition was not an example of 'Blessed are the meek'. p. 275 - 276

Robin: ... I'll start at the bottom level again. As we said just now, for the least healthy, religion is based on the kind of thinking typical of very young children. And young children have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, wishes from deeds. So at this level, religion is valued as magic - as a means of making wishes come true, without acknowledging scientific laws and relationships of cause and effect.

John: You mean at this level we believe that we only have to repeat a prayer of incantation, or perform some other prescribed routine, in order to make the world do what we want.

Robin: Yes, and when you're thinking like this, whether or not your wishes come true seems to depend only on how strongly you believe in the procedure! p. 277

Robin: ... to the extent that you face and accept your own psychology, including all your weaknesses and faults ... to THAT degree will you be able to accept and love others. And conversely: to the extent that you love others, to that degree you will be able to love yourself. p. 282

John: Well, everything that you've been saying implies that [Fundamentalism] is a manifestation of a fairly low level of mental health, doesn't it? For a start, Fundamentalists call for a literal interpretation of scripture, and as we saw when we were discussing secular values, focusing in on the letter of the law is a characteristic of the less healthy. In addition, wise people tend not to exhibit literal mindedness, so it seems singularly inappropriate to assume that this is the vein in which great spiritual teahers are speaking. Then again, whether we're talking about Christianity, Islam, Judaism or Hinduism, the values of Fundamentalists seem aimed at making themselves feel better by placing all negative and destructive emotions in people with different beliefs, and enjoying the golden glow of self-justification that results. ... You know that simile: 'As rare as a Fundamentalist who loves his enemy.' ... the Inquisition did largely miss the point of 'Love Thy Neighbour', didn't they? Wasn't burning heretics 'worse' than being tolerant towards them? ... p. 287

John: In other words, the aim is integration?

Robin: Yes. It's even there in the language. The words 'whole', 'healthy' and 'holy' all have the same root. They're all expressions of the same idea. p. 308

Paul Tournier "The Person Reborn"



From Paul Tournier "The Person Reborn" (SCM:1967)

"Life is short," wrote Hippocrates. "and the art long; the occasion fleeting; experience fallacious, and judgement difficult." p.93

... each of us deduces from his personal experience a system of thought, which he sets up as the truth against all other systems of thought. ... I have the liveliest sense of the immeasurable greatness of God, in comparison with which all our mumblings are of no significance. ... The orthodox violate the law of love which their orthodoxy enjoins upon them, in persecuting any who do not share their dogmas. p.98

The spirit of dogmatism ossifies thought and sterilizes life. The person who is satisfied with one experience loses the dissatisfaction which could be the source of fresh experiences. p.101

He who claims never to have doubted does not know what faith is, for faith is forged through doubt. ... To set up one system or doctrine against another impoverishes the mind by freezing it in a partisan attitude which obstructs the evolution of its life. How many upholders of orthodoxy seem to have fossilized minds, through having lost that unquenchable disquiet and curiosity which are the precondition of every advance in the spiritual life! As soon as one believes on possesses the truth, and encases it in a system, one shuts out other horizons. p.106

The spirit of dogmatism simplifies, opposes and systemizes. The philosophical spirit has a sense of the endless complexity of things. p. 107

THE FOUR W's OF CHURCH - WIN, WET, WORK, WASTE



"Sadly many churches practice the four W’s: win them, wet them, work them, waste them." - Bruce Gerencser

Once upon a time ..........

WIN THEM

You get sold a sales pitch full of lies and offers too good to be true.

"They told me a fairy story,
'Til I believed in the Israelite." - Greg Lake "I Believe In Father Christmas"

"Just believe" all your problems will be solved. Believe us. We know Jesus personally. (How? Through reading a man-made bible, that's how.)

"Jesus is the answer." (But he never answers your questions.)

You are suckered in without using your rational faculties.

You are brainwashed with repetitive Jesus Jingles and mantras. Free mass hypnotism for the people.

You are love bombed with smiley faces. "See, we really love you ... because you're a new convert."

WET THEM

In evangelical / pentecostal churches the next step is adult baptism to prove that you are really serious. Nothing really changes except that you are held under water for a few seconds. It does provide a badge of honour as you are not "sprinkled" like those heathen Christians down the road (Bloody Catholics, Anglicans and Liberals!). You are a "trew kristyun" who has been dunked. You are one of us. Welcome to the club ... now obey all the rules or we'll kick you out of heaven. Attend your weekly indoctrination classes. Don't ask questions.

WORK THEM

You get put in a "ministry". Everyone must have a ministry. Your "ministry" will be validated by the pastor who has the final say. Your ministry might begin by mowing the church lawns or cleaning the toilets. If you are a teacher ( like myself) you get a ministry of helping in children's church even though you have worked the last five days at a school and have preparation for those classes to do as well. If you are a musician (like myself) you get put in the "praise and worship ministry team" where you have to play Jesus Jingles for free though your fans pay money to see you elsewhere. You never get an explanation of the difference between praise and worship. Yours is not to question why. Yours is to do and .... Every Jesus Jingle is exactly like the previous and next ones. You never get paid for your ministry even if it is something that takes many hours. Any expertise you may have in any area is now available for free to any church member. You are doing it "for the Lord" though you are never told who the Lord is exactly.

WASTE THEM

You never get a break from this routine except over the Christmas holidays when the Lord is not so busy and there is no ministry available. Wait till February if you want ministry. You do the same thing every week for years. You get a mention in the church bulletin and a thank you from the pulpit. That's your pay. Nothing ever changes unless a better new convert comes along and then you are relegated to the sidelines. You are especially relegated to the sidelines and menial work if you are not a personal friend of the pastor. If you don't like the pastor then you are removed from "public ministry" where people can see you, perhaps back to cleaning toilets and mowing lawns. If a curvaceous young female comes into the church she is placed ahead of you as having a better ministry. One can only guess what that ministry is as she gets on so well with the pastor.

You read in your bible where slavery is advocated in both the Old and New Testaments and you begin to think that it is a viable option and a better "work for the Lord".

THE END

And they all live unhappily ever after if they remain in church.